Onward and upward

Well, I was scared to get on the scale this morning. Though I had worked out 5 times since my weigh in last week, I ate horribly (something to the tune of steak sliders, fries, pizza, cake, candy...ugh) this weekend, which also happened to be when I did NOT work out. Way to go me. And I admit, I stepped on the scale yesterday to see what the damage was...and I was up 2.5 lbs...oops.

However, I had a great workout yesterday, doing 20 minutes on the elliptical and an hour of yoga, and I ate balanced and low calorie. As I left the gym yesterday, I decided that whatever the scale said in the morning, that I was proud of what I had accomplished. I was successful 5 of 7 days in my diet and my exercise. As I walked out to my car, I felt strong. My muscles felt engaged, and I could tell that my body was feeling different. Each class I have been discovering that I am capable of more that I thought and that I can hold positions or press extentions longer and farther than in previous classes.

With that said, I am still up 0.7 lbs from last Wednesday. However, I know that I am building muscle as well, so I am okay with this. The scale will catch up eventually. The most important thing is that I feel my body and my mind changing. I watch the stickers accruing on my calendar (See below, orange=workout, green=blog, blue=music, brown=weigh-in). I am sticking to my goal to work out, to blog, to engage with my music. Some may think my goals are lofty, or think that I will quit. But to them I say, your lack of confidence in me is only more reason for me to stick to and reach my goals.


On another topic, I am a single woman again. It isn't appropriate for me to go into detail here. However, it was a good change for me at this time. I am hopeful for the next step in my romantic life, whatever it may be. I am going to relish my singlehood, and the fact that my time is completely my own, just as I will relish having someone to share more of my time with when it happens.

So, onward and upward toward my goals and making this an even more fulfilling year than the last.

Getting real about weight-loss

I've added another level of accountability to my blog. To the right you will see a weight-loss tracker. I will update it weekly. A big thanks to Britton Dennis for this idea! I totally copied you. Just a reminder my goal is to lose 40 pounds by my 30th birthday, which is May 22nd. To be EXTREMELY accountable, my starting weight (per today's weigh-in) is 229.9 lbs. My current goal weight is 190 lbs.

You may be surprised, as many people are when I disclose my actual weight. They don't think I look that heavy. To which I say thank you, lol. I attribute this surprise to a number of factors. First, I know how to dress to flatter my figure. Second, I tend to gain weight all over, so I am pretty well proportioned in spite of my weight. Third, I REALLY am big-boned, lol. Seriously, I have a large frame. Finally, I do carry a lot of muscle, which as we always hear muscle weighs more than fat (really what we mean, is muscle has a higher density than fat, and therefore weighs more by volume).

At my heaviest, I weighed 254.4lbs. It was at that point that I decided something had to be done. My weight had slowly been creeping up since high school, and faced with my 10 year reunion, I didn't want to walk in 50-60 heavier than I had been in high school. So, I took off about 25 lbs at that time (in 2009). Over then next year I lost a bit more weight. At my lowest I was 222. But after losing my job and then heading into a very sad and dark winter, the pounds started creeping back on. I got back up to about 248. All of that hard work down the drain. So late last summer (2010), I started watching my diet more, and managed to get back down into the 230's. After the holidays, I maxed out again around 235. So, my starting weight for these tracking purposes is after having lost close to 5 pounds this month already.

I don't want to continue playing the yo-yo game. So, I am hoping my gym membership and my online accountability will help keep me from backsliding. I have no excuse not to work out, and now I have put my goals and progress out for all to see. I am much too young to be unhealthy and not fully confident in my appearance. I am vibrant and beautiful, and I want full embrace and walk in that. My goal of 190 may seem a bit high, but I've never been conventionally thin. Even at my most active as a jr. high cheerleader, I was a size 14 (I am currently a size 18). So, I think to shoot much lower than that may be unrealistic for my body. At 190, I will re-evaluate, and perhaps I'll choose to shoot lower. But, for now, I think 190 is a realistic and attainable goal. I haven't been under 200 pounds since high school, which was over 10 years ago. I can't imagine how it will feel to see the scale with a "1", but this is the year to find out!

No way...two days in a row?

Yep, that's right! I'm posting another entry. I'm on a roll. I wanted to show that I'm serious about tracking and meeting my goals. I even bought this incredibly awesome P!nk wall calendar and some stickers to track my blogging, working out, playing keyboard/singing, and makeup artistry gigs or networking. Plus, it was a really good excuse to get the calendar I've been wanting for over a month now. Somehow, I even managed to match the colors of the stickers with color theme of the calendar, how cool is that? I felt silly going to the teacher store just for stickers, but I figured they'd have a big selection of "incentive" stickers. I didn't know that's what they were called until the gentleman behind the counter directed me to the seasonal stickers, regular stickers, and incentive stickers.

I was proud of myself for getting out of the house today. I was actually supposed to do makeup for a ghost portrait photo/video shoot today. Unfortunately, the model was ill and the photographer exhausted, so the shoot was cancelled. Since I was up, I decided to go ahead and get ready and go pick up my calendar and run some errands. While at the mall, I treated myself to some teriyaki and frozen yogurt. I finished off the evening at the gym for a bellydancing class. That means I've worked out 5 times in the 7 days since I joined the gym. Not bad, not bad at all.

If you haven't set any goals or resolutions for the year, I highly recommend it. When you set the right kind of goals it is much easier to be motivated to achieve them. Also, accountability is key. There is a reason star charts work so well for kids. They get to SEE their progress and so does everyone else. They know when they are close to meeting their goals and it is motivation to push a little harder to reach them. Remember to make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. To say that you are going to work out more this year is admirable, but it is not SMART. How are often are you going to work out? How much is more than last year? However, if you make a goal to work out 3 days a week for the next 6 months, that goal is specific. You can measure if you are sticking to it. For most people, it is attainable. It is relevant to your larger goal or vision to get in shape and be healthier. Finally, it is bound to a certain time frame.

So, go ahead and make some SMART goals. Then, if you're cool like me, you'll pick up a calendar that you love (or an actually star chart, you can get them at the "Teacher store") and some stickers and start charting your progress.

P.S. Most 2011 calendars are on sale 50-75% off at the mall kiosks and bookstores, and they still have a pretty big selection.

Seriously? It's been a year?

Wow, I can't believe it's literally been a year since I've posted on this blog, WOW. I didn't do so well with that whole blogging more thing last year...oops. BUT, I can say that I made it a better year! While 2009 was a LAME year in the life of Jessica, 2010 was a year of fresh starts and new ventures. I went to school and earned not one, but two, business certifications, I started pursuing professional makeup artistry (check out my page here), I went platinum (hellooo, see the new pic!), I started getting out on the dating scene and am currently in a relationship, I got off of antidepressant (2009 was so lame that it warranted medication). Overall, I decided to take initiative instead of letting my circumstances dictate my life. Thus, it was a much more meaningful year.

I have high hopes for 2011. I am hoping to finally land a job, do more to actively pursue PAID makeup artistry work, and fuel my creative passions, namely music. I was greatly inspired by my friend Natalie's pursuit of renewing her relationship with her cello last year. See her final cello vlog below (and YES, I am also trying to win one of her fabulous bracelets).



She made a list of resolution in 2010, and I was impressed with her dedication to her goals, as well as her seeking out accountability for said goals. So, I'm going to attempt the same (fingers crossed)

1. Blog at least once a month (yes this entry counts for January)
2. Play my piano/keyboard at least once a week
3. Go to the gym at least 3 days a week
4. Reach my goal weight, which means losing about 40 more pounds
5. Attend networking events/meetings to promote my makeup artistry
6. Get a job

Hmmm...I think that is a good start. So, look for updates on how I'm doing on these goals as well as for how life is going in general. Here's to another great year!

Beautiful

Today, I ran across the music video for "Beautiful" by Christina Aguilera. Though this video was and probably still is controversial to some, I was floored by the message as it was shared visually. So powerful, I literally got chills.





So, go ahead, be beautiful today. And tell society you won't bend to it's expectations of who and what you should be.

Peeping Toms and other news

I've decided I know where the term "peeping tom" came from. You see, my cat Joey has a talent of knowing when the shower is running. Unlike regular cats, who run from water like it will wash them away into the unknown, he comes into the bathroom, and either peeks through at the edge of the shower curtain, staying mostly concealed, or he jumps up on to the edge of the tub, between the cloth shower curtain and the clear plastic one, and just sits there, or walks back and forth. Now, I've had cats all of my life, even ones who kind of like to play with water as it drips out of a faucet. But never one who is this fascinated, or perhaps OBSESSED is a better word, with water, namely the shower.

Joey is also known to lay in the bathroom sink, let me bathe him while holding him in the shower, drink out of the toilet, take naps by the water dish, and steal straws out of cups, no matter how full the contents (his single-minded desire to steal a straw is a whole other story). So, I have some theories as to why my cat is a "Peeping Tom"

1. A Pure Love of a Water: For whatever reason, he just really loves water. Drinking in it, playing in it, watching it as it streams down from the shower head and beads across the shower curtain. This seems the most obvious answer, but not very fun.

2. He is a voyer: He is a weirdo who gets his jollies out of watching girls shower. I'm not a big fan of this one, as I think it's obvious cats are not like humans in this way. And it kind of freaks me out to think of my cat as a social deviant.

3. He finds it amusing: Perhaps he just thinks it's hilarious that people take off their strange fur (aka clothes, in human speak) looking all goofy in their pasty undercoat and voluntarily stand under a stream of water. Maybe it's a type of come-uppins. We just look pathetic in the same way cats and dogs do when they emerge from a bath, all awkward and scraggly with their coats matted down and soaked and that look of wide-eyed terror on their cute little faces, and they get to enjoy that moment in reverse.

4. He wants to shower too: He sits there hoping I will pick him up and shower him too. His previous shower encounters having him wishing he could shower as often as his people do. Although, if this were the case, he could just jump in. Also, when I have showered him, though he doesn't claw at me, he does squirm to get away, and occasionally meows, so I find this answer unlikely.

5. He finds it terrifying: Maybe it's like a train wreck, the scene is so awful and traumatic, but somehow he is drawn to it, and just can't stop watching. It's like he's saying "Oh my gosh, I can't believe she is getting in there again! Doesn't she know she could get sucked down the drain or something? If it I happens, I have to see this!"

6. He was fish or other water dwelling animal in a past life: Perhaps he has an unexplainable fascination with water that keeps drawing him back again and again. And it all comes down to a previous life where he spent his days frolicking and splashing about in his watery home. He keeps being drawn to the water as it reminds him of something or someone he used to be.

Whatever his reasons, someone else must have had a cat with this same habit. I mean where else would we have gotten the term "Peeping Tom"? It just makes sense.

On an update level school is crazy, my first week is almost over (whew!) I have a cold (of course, the week I'm actually doing something!). And I'm hoping to get to have some fun this weekend and also get ahead of the homework wagon. More on all of that later!

Good Ole College Days

Today I went to two classes, and made sure I was at the school early. I forgot how ridiculous parking can be at a busy school. I was REALLY glad I got there early. I was actually sitting outside the classroom 30 minutes early, maybe a tad excessive, but I was convinced something catastrophic was going to happen to keep me from getting to class on time.

While introducing myself in my customer service class, I mentioned my B.A. from PLU. Maybe I was trying to prove I belonged there, I'm not sure, but I think I may have intimidated my classmates. Classmates who were diverse in ethnicity as well as age and previous education. No one else mentioned any previous degrees, only the programs they were working on currently. So, for a moment there, I felt like an arrogant jerk, when honestly I was nervous and insecure. Oh well, if I can just be myself and be friendly and open, people will see I'm not going to judge and condescend. These classes will pose a challenge to me as well, I'm sure.

I already have homework for both classes I attended today. Luckily, they weren't huge assignments: reading a chapter and finding and writing a short discussion about an article concerning customer service. However, I'm finding the customer service articles a challenge to find.

To top of my collegiate day, Neila and I made a very "starving student" dinner of white rice and frozen broccoli topped with tomato bisque soup with pieces of cut up tofurky dogs. I know...it sounds disgusting, but it wasn't bad, and we were being "resourceful" with the items in our cupboard.

I'm going to attempt to go to bed...for reals tonight...by about 11, which means I better sign off and start winding down.

Good night from this returning college student.