Loving the Skin You're In

Okay, blog fail. I actually started to write an entry in early June, and then I got de-railed. It was going to be about "Milestone May". I hit the 20 pounds lost mark since January and turned 30. I feel like there might have been another milestone or two, but unfortunately I can't remember what they might have been :/ oops. Forgive me? Thanks!

So as of today, I have hit the 25 pound milestone, I weighed in at 204.2 this morning. This means I have also hit my 50 pound milestone from my heavist weight of 254.4 2 years ago. Slow and steady wins the race, right? Considering I've only been to the gym 5 times total in July and am still losing, I'm pleased.

I feel like this year I've broken the yo-yo cycle with regard to my weight. I'm still dedicated to exercising, but I'm not obsessive about it. I'm still dedicated to eating well and the "fat-head diet" has become a lifestyle. But again, I'm not obsessive about it. Sometimes I like to order fries (like the sweet potato fries I had from Flipping Out on Thursday...OMG), I love frozen yogurt (Thanks, Gibson's, for feeding my froyo addiction), I eat a cheeseburger (with a real bun! as opposed to low carb bread) about once a week. [I'll talk about mine and Neila's quest for the best burger in Tacoma in another entry]. Sometimes I splurge eating out with a friend, or I have a decadent dessert. Life is too short and I LOVE food! But I have learned moderation. I know that a regular lifestyle of eating low carb is not ruined by the occasional splurge and it makes the lifestyle sustainable, and sustainability is the key to being successful. I've never been this consistent in any "diet" or "exercise program". A few months of a new program usually saw moderate success followed by complete relapse.

One exciting but annoying change is my official "size" drop. I've been a size 18-20 since high school (A straight 20 at my heaviest, more an 18 during thinner times). I am officially a size 16 now. I can wear some of my 18-20's but most of them are baggy and frumpy. I've acquired 3 pairs of jeans in a 16 now, but am finding I only have a few shirts anymore that I feel attractive in. I have a Lane Bryant gift card I'd love to use but I am holding on to it until I get a job so I can buy appropriate work clothes for my new work place. So, the next time I have a little extra cash, a couple of cute shirts/tanks are in order. My need for new professional wear was brought to light when I was called back for a second interview and realized I had already worn the new dress I had bought for interviews and had nothing appropriate to wear. It was bittersweet going through my closet to find almost every piece of professional wear I own was too big. I have been meaning to take my collection of oversized clothing to a plus-size consignment shop where I might be able to recover some of the money to invest in new clothes.

On a related note, I am still looking for work and have a little less than 2 months left on unemployment. The second interview at Kidder Matthews did not pan out. However, I have an interview for a Marketing Coordinator position at Korum Automotive Group. Prayers and well wishes are appreciated. I am hopeful that the job search is nearing the end.

I am still struggling getting used to my new body, but I am learning to love it, "flaws" and all. I even let Neila take and post pictures of me in a swimsuit, I'll share a few as an exercise in confidence and embracing my beauty. I'm still surprised at how insecure I can be about my body even after dropping 50 pounds!

Thanks for reading, thank you for your love and support. If it wasn't for the support, encouragement and accountability of friends, I don't know if I would have persevered as I a have. Remember you are beautiful, you are worth loving, and you are worth taking care of. I still have to remind myself of these things everyday.

Approaches to Valentine's Day

I'm feeling a little sentimental this afternoon. And, NO, I'm not premenstrual, lol. I recently purchased one of my favorite love songs on iTunes, and it puts me in a hopeful mood for the day I truly fall in love. With Valentine's Day less than a week away, I realize I will spend yet another V-day without a significant other. I can only remember one year where I was actually in a relationship on this oh-so-wonderful holiday, I was in jr. high. Seriously.

Over the years I've taken a few different approaches to V-day. Approach #1: Boycott. Yes, I have gone the way of the bitter in the past, vowing to wear black in protest of a commercial holiday that tortures single people with the fact that they are all alone on the holiday of love. This generally backfired, and ended up with me gorging myself of on Valentine candy in front of sappy movies. Approach #2: Ladies Night Out. This isn't a bad approach. However, it often ends up as a "bitch fest" about how stupid guys are and wondering how it is they've been blind to such incredible and lovely women. Approach #3: The Co-ed Singles Party. Um, awkward, nuff said. Approach #4: Date night with a bestie. This isn't a bad option. I enjoy getting dressed up and going to a nice dinner with my best friend, though one must be prepared to be looked at like they are celebrating the day of love with their lesbian partner. Approach #5: Celebrating friends and family. This has been the most rewarding and productive of the V-day approaches. In the past I have made or purchased cards, candy, gifts, etc. for the most important people in my life. This way I am still getting the joy of giving and feeling love, and getting to participate in the holiday instead of feeling like an outsider. I am thinking I will go with #5 again this year and remind those that are important to me how much I love them.

As for reaching my goals, you can see that my tracker says I've lost 5 lbs. It's actually 5.2 lbs ;). Last week I was down 3.9 lbs and, as of today, I am down another 1.3 lbs. I haven't been as consistent in my exercise, but I am still going to the gym and doing my best to make wise food choices. I feel like I am well on my way to my goal. Obviously, I'm doing alright with blogging somewhat regularly. I could do better with my music goals, so I am going to make a pointed effort to get on my piano more. Now that it is set up in my room, I think I will be more inclined to play. I did get to do makeup for a photoshoot this weekend, for pictures, click here. I think they turned out lovely.

On the job front, I did interview and do a working interview for a nanny/mother's helper/household administrator position with a family in Federal Way last week. I am feeling hopeful about the position. I feel I have a lot to offer the family and that partnering with them to nurture and educate their children would be extremely fulfilling. I know God will open the door if that is where he wants me.

Happy early Valentine's Day, friends. May you take a moment to honor those who make your life brighter. As my gift to you, here is one of my favorite songs, in one of the most touching romantic movie scenes ever made, "The Book of Love" by Peter Gabriel in the movie "Shall we Dance"...grab a kleenex...this one gets me everytime. If you haven't seen this movie, I highly recommend it.



The book of love is long and boring
No one can lift the damn thing
It's full of charts and facts and figures and instructions for dancing
But I, I love it when you read to me
And you, You can read me anything
The book of love has music in it
In fact that's where music comes from
Some of it is just transcendental
Some of it is just really dumb
But I, I love it when you sing to me
And you, You can sing me anything
The book of love is long and boring
And written very long ago
It's full of flowers and heart-shaped boxes
And things we're all too young to know
But I, I love it when you give me things
And you, You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you, You ought to give me wedding rings
And I, I love it when you give me things
And you,You ought to give me wedding rings
You ought to give me wedding rings

No way...two days in a row?

Yep, that's right! I'm posting another entry. I'm on a roll. I wanted to show that I'm serious about tracking and meeting my goals. I even bought this incredibly awesome P!nk wall calendar and some stickers to track my blogging, working out, playing keyboard/singing, and makeup artistry gigs or networking. Plus, it was a really good excuse to get the calendar I've been wanting for over a month now. Somehow, I even managed to match the colors of the stickers with color theme of the calendar, how cool is that? I felt silly going to the teacher store just for stickers, but I figured they'd have a big selection of "incentive" stickers. I didn't know that's what they were called until the gentleman behind the counter directed me to the seasonal stickers, regular stickers, and incentive stickers.

I was proud of myself for getting out of the house today. I was actually supposed to do makeup for a ghost portrait photo/video shoot today. Unfortunately, the model was ill and the photographer exhausted, so the shoot was cancelled. Since I was up, I decided to go ahead and get ready and go pick up my calendar and run some errands. While at the mall, I treated myself to some teriyaki and frozen yogurt. I finished off the evening at the gym for a bellydancing class. That means I've worked out 5 times in the 7 days since I joined the gym. Not bad, not bad at all.

If you haven't set any goals or resolutions for the year, I highly recommend it. When you set the right kind of goals it is much easier to be motivated to achieve them. Also, accountability is key. There is a reason star charts work so well for kids. They get to SEE their progress and so does everyone else. They know when they are close to meeting their goals and it is motivation to push a little harder to reach them. Remember to make your goals SMART: Specific, Measurable, Attainable, Relevant, and Time-bound. To say that you are going to work out more this year is admirable, but it is not SMART. How are often are you going to work out? How much is more than last year? However, if you make a goal to work out 3 days a week for the next 6 months, that goal is specific. You can measure if you are sticking to it. For most people, it is attainable. It is relevant to your larger goal or vision to get in shape and be healthier. Finally, it is bound to a certain time frame.

So, go ahead and make some SMART goals. Then, if you're cool like me, you'll pick up a calendar that you love (or an actually star chart, you can get them at the "Teacher store") and some stickers and start charting your progress.

P.S. Most 2011 calendars are on sale 50-75% off at the mall kiosks and bookstores, and they still have a pretty big selection.

Seriously? It's been a year?

Wow, I can't believe it's literally been a year since I've posted on this blog, WOW. I didn't do so well with that whole blogging more thing last year...oops. BUT, I can say that I made it a better year! While 2009 was a LAME year in the life of Jessica, 2010 was a year of fresh starts and new ventures. I went to school and earned not one, but two, business certifications, I started pursuing professional makeup artistry (check out my page here), I went platinum (hellooo, see the new pic!), I started getting out on the dating scene and am currently in a relationship, I got off of antidepressant (2009 was so lame that it warranted medication). Overall, I decided to take initiative instead of letting my circumstances dictate my life. Thus, it was a much more meaningful year.

I have high hopes for 2011. I am hoping to finally land a job, do more to actively pursue PAID makeup artistry work, and fuel my creative passions, namely music. I was greatly inspired by my friend Natalie's pursuit of renewing her relationship with her cello last year. See her final cello vlog below (and YES, I am also trying to win one of her fabulous bracelets).



She made a list of resolution in 2010, and I was impressed with her dedication to her goals, as well as her seeking out accountability for said goals. So, I'm going to attempt the same (fingers crossed)

1. Blog at least once a month (yes this entry counts for January)
2. Play my piano/keyboard at least once a week
3. Go to the gym at least 3 days a week
4. Reach my goal weight, which means losing about 40 more pounds
5. Attend networking events/meetings to promote my makeup artistry
6. Get a job

Hmmm...I think that is a good start. So, look for updates on how I'm doing on these goals as well as for how life is going in general. Here's to another great year!

New Year, New Blog!

So, after reading some of my friend's blogs and seeing their resolutions to write more, I have decided to join the craze of "webloggers". I already have a blog, however it is more of a personal journal than a public interface. So, this will give me a place to flesh out random thoughts, business ideas, and dialog in a more deep and thorough way than possible on mediums such as facebook.

So, I can't believe I am starting school tomorrow! I swore after I got my B.A. that I was done...18 years of schooling must surely be enough to succeed in this world. But, alas, fate had other plans. So, I am attending Pierce College and will be getting a two business certifications.

I have "first day anxiety", even at age 28. I guess some things never change. What if something catastrophic makes me late? Or my alarm doesn't go off? What if I can't find my classes, or I don't get into my wait-listed class? What I don't like my professors, or they don't like me? What if I got the wrong books? What if my classmates think I'm a big dork? I'm sure my anxiety is unnecessary, and that everything is going to work out fine.

So, I'm heading to bed in a few after I get my bookbag situated, set my alarm, and pick out my clothes tomorrow. Hopefully I can sleep!